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Abbeywood Veggie

I try to eat to eat muesli - I
And many more things I can tell
Tried tahini cannellini
And cut out tea and coffee as well!
My diet has oft been the subject - of many a debate of great heat
But rather than part from my veggies
I think I would rather eat meat!


Chorus:
I
I get all my protein the vegetable way.
I may eat junk food all day Monday
But I am a health freak on Sunday!


The day was just ending
To sit on my recycling loo.
A noise from down under
As it heralded a healthy loose poo!
That thing that I did smelt unpleasant
But in the teeth of my straining I thought
That sooner than part from my diet
I think I would rather be caught short.


You lift your bum off and you splutter and cough
And hope none of your guests are near you.
You pretend you
When somebody else needs the loo!
When at last you have completely finished
And carefully pull the old chain
You hope all the traces go down there
And nothing will block up the drain!


They call me a freak
I did once but I just couldn
I don
Shouldn
They say animals are for eating
At that I start shaking my head
No man has the right to take lives now-
Nor exploit both the living and dead.


I once loved a maid
She was feisty as ever could be.
And the glint in her eye matched the red morning sky
I loved her till February.
On the day we agreed to be lovers
We went for a big veggie meal
For sooner than part from my diet
I would rather be robbed of my zeal!

So, I - eat what I can now
And I go for the healthiest food!
I know what I need now - cause my body I heed now
And it makes noises frequent and rude!
I eat carrots instead of sweet biscuits
Lots of veg and of fruit every day-
I only eat polyunsaturates
And do what I should twice a day!

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